Being ‘put together’ and being authentic, mutually exclusive?

Tari and I connected, thanks to a platform that puts people from a specific region together, via social media. Which is like water: it can be constructive, or destructive. It can lead to a new career path, form new friendships, and increase bonds with our loved ones scattered across the world (as we wait to be reunited again)…

After we connected, I was thrilled to read the organic and authentic content on her blog, a lot of which resonates!

My life is pretty interesting. It could fill an entire novel and some sequels (and I’m only 22). However, that’s not the reason I started this blog. Roughly 5 months ago I was scrolling through Facebook and I realized how unrealistic social media platforms are. I also realized how much it was affecting me. On a daily (or hourly) basis I’d see “friends” posting about all their awesome experiences—their new jobs, their great friends, their great family life…etc. I had somehow convinced myself that I was the only one that experienced bad days. I was convinced that at all times I was the only one going through shxt. But then I looked at all my social media accounts (snapchat, Facebook, twitter, and Instagram) and realized I was part of the problem. My posts weren’t any less different from theirs. I only posted about the good stuff.
From a strictly social media point of view I am well ‘put together’. I am a successful college graduate from a highly prestigious university. My parents are extremely successful individuals who live in one of the most affluent neighborhoods in my city. I am well-traveled, pretty, likeable, and have a good amount of friends. But, (as you all know) that’s just a glimpse. A snapshot.

Today, at my weekly therapy session my therapist looked at me and said,

“Tari, do you know why you come to therapy?”

“…Because, I need help?” I said chuckling. The question had thrown me off.

“No, Tari.” She sighed. “You come to therapy because this is your safe space. This is the only place you can take off your masks. You stop pretending when you walk into this room. Here, right now, in this moment, you’re authentically you. You don’t do that anywhere else”.

She’s right. Therapy is my cathartic release. I’ve always been afraid to be authentically me all the time because I was always so sure that, that version of Tari would be ridiculed. I figured if I was to be authentic there was no way people would view me as ‘put together’. But, I realize that’s wrong.

I’ve only had this blog for a couple of weeks, but it’s really helping me on my journey to self-love and self-discovery. I’m real here. I’m real here, because I want people to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable, and open, and go through shxt because that’s life. Everyday isn’t picture perfect, and everyone isn’t picture perfect. I’m real here because I am trying to show the world that yes I can be authentic and ‘put together’. I will not allow my fears to stop me from being myself. I will not allow the pressures of being perfect to stop me from sharing the bad days—and there are bad days. (Not just for me, but for everyone!) This blog has taught me that nothing is more liberating than being myself as fully as I know how. So, I promise to be authentic here. I promise to leave my masks far away from my keyboard, and embrace my truth. I promise to continue being fearless enough to share it with the world.

By Tari, via Confessions of a 20 Something: Highs, Lows, Everything In Between

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